Tattoos That Failed So Hard, They Almost Succeeded

Too many people don’t take the permanence of a tattoo into consideration and they end up with a tattoo of the Easter Bunny on their neck. You don’t want to become the walking joke of your friend group and always be the sole guy catching laughs. Today we’re going to bring you some poor individuals who didn’t take a second to think things over before rushing right into horrible tattoos. Don’t hold back any your laughs when you take a look at these tattoos on people who actually thought they were being clever and witty.

The Sad Ape Face

This guy needs to grow back his hair ASAP and pray he never goes bald. The idea of having some fierce gorilla tattooed onto the back of your head may seem cool with your five drinks in on a Friday night, but you’re definitely going to wake up in the morning with deep regrets.

The Sad Ape Face

The worst things about this “fierce” gorilla tattoo is that it doesn’t even look so fierce or mighty. It looks more like there was a rip in time and space that resulted in this gorilla getting meshed with this man. I only see pain and sadness in those gorilla eyes..

To The “Exreme”

This guy is so extreme, that he doesn’t even need all the letters to get his point across. Look at all the evidence here. First off, note that he has those corny stars tatted on both of his arms. Then take notice that he has an obnoxious lip and nipple piercing.

To The “Exreme”

Yes, very cool, dude. And in case you didn’t know he was extreme, he provided a little tip right there on his tiny, shapeless chest. Quick tip: if you get “extreme” (or “exreme”) tattooed on your body, you’re probably not actually very extreme.

Baby Tat Gone Bad

One has to wonder, do tattoo artists give refunds when they completely butcher your baby tattoo? This artist managed to take this man’s baby and turn it into a tattoo that resembled a balding middle-aged man who is passed out on a discount bus ride.

Baby Tat Gone Bad

For the rest of his life, people are going to ask him, “Yo, who’s the old dude on your back?” He’ll have no other choice but to become one those guys that wear shirts to the beach. Maybe forty years his son will actually look like that and he’ll no longer need to hide the shame.

Would You Like A Receipt?

There are people that love McDonald’s, and then there are people who looooove McDonald’s. This guy’s obsession has gone way too far, as he decided to get one of his McDonald’s receipts tattooed on his arm for no particular reason.

Would You Like A Receipt?

I don’t know about you, but I usually spend more time trying to forget that I ate fast food, so I definitely don’t want proof of my bad choices on my body permanently. Perhaps this man thinks that eating McDonald’s is the best thing he’s ever done.

He Keeps Looking At Me

Imagine sitting behind this guy on a 9-hour plane ride across the world. What would be even worse is if the plane started crashing and the whole way down you’d have to look at the panic in this tattoo’s eyes. Would you even be able to seriously be afraid or would you just laugh?

He Keeps Looking At Me

It’d be even funnier if this man was a school bus driver. Imagine how many six-year-olds would be having nightmares about that terrifying face tattoo looking back at them. I feel like even some adults would begin having nightmares about it.

Italian Words Of Wisdom

This is definitely something that I can imagine some stereotypical Italian chef saying to one of his line cooks with a broken heart. He’ll probably throw in that typical hand gesture and say, “It’s get better!” Then he’d go into some elaborate love story from the old country.

Italian Words Of Wisdom

Truth be told, Italian chefs likely have very little to do with this tattoo and it was just some guy on a bender who stumbled into a tattoo shop and probably said he wants “It’s get better” on his arm. The artist wasn’t going to correct him. You bought, so you caught it.

Fearful Wolf Tat

We see howling wolves and we instantly think on Indian smoke ceremonies and those gigantic blankets that you see being sold at the local swap meet. Wolves are majestic and mystical creatures. This wolf looks to have the soul of pug inside of it.

Fearful Wolf Tat

It appears that he just walked into his cavern and has seen something he’ll never be able to erase from his mind. That isn’t a howling mouth, that is a mouth opened in awe and those are speaking terror. Maybe little red riding hood has come for revenge.

It’s Your Crummy Tattoo

Most people appreciate a good Bon Jovi song sometimes, but who would actually get a Bon Jovi inspired tattoo? Apparent this person. They decided to get a tattoo of the most basic statement ever from one of Jon Bon Jovi’s blandest song ever, and they didn’t stop there, oh no.

It’s Your Crumby Tattoo

They also decided to get it tattooed in the sloppy script of a third-grader, and they attributed the quote to “Jon Bovi” for some reason. And “it’s is my life”? You’re right, it’s is your life, and “that’s is” a terrible tattoo. Luckily, it won’t be hard to cover up.

Freddie, Is That You?

Is that Freddie Mercury? If it is, we’re glad that he isn’t around to see this monstrosity. It looks less like the legendary rockstar and more like the hillbilly kid from down the road who is chewing on something that he found on the floor.

Freddie, Is That You?

The only thing that can be funnier than this poor Freddie Mercury tattoo, is imagining what the real Freddie’s response would be to such a crumby tattoo. Remember, the man was an absolute perfectionist. Something like this would probably have him rolling on the floor.

Don’t Cut Yourself On All That Edge

Watch out, everyone. We’ve got a tough guy here! He’s not taking anything from anyone, either. He’s so dedicated to his tough guy persona that he even got a tattoo to symbolize it. Tough guys sometimes have the bad reputation of not being smart and he feeds that bad reputation.

Don’t Cut Yourself On All That Edge

You can easily see the problem here. He doesn’t know “your” from “you’re.” So the question is, “your” what? Maybe it’s short for “your next tattoo needs to be a lot better than this one was.” I wouldn’t be so quick about telling him about his mistake as you might regret it.

E.T. Phone Home

This guy wanted to get a cute photo of his daughter immortalized on his body, and left the shop with a frightening tattoo of E.T. himself. How in the world can the artist justify how downright scary that tattoo looks? Easy on the shading, my man!

E.T. Phone Home

Although I have to admit, every time I see this photo I laugh my head off, so it wasn’t all for nothing. If this baby tattoo is representing Hollywood’s favorite alien, it is at least reminding people of a good zombie movie.

Bad Decisions, Indeed

Where do you even start with this abomination against the English language? Let’s not focus on the two completely unnecessary commas too much. After all, maybe they were imagining this cliche as spoken aloud by William Shatner.

Bad Decisions, Indeed

But c’mon…”dicisions”? It even looks like the artist started to make an “e” and the person was like, “Uh…excuse me? It’s supposed to be an ‘i’.” I guess the customer is always right? They can always get a marker and correct it.

The Mixture Of Hair And Tattoo

This managed to use his arm hair and create a life-like troll doll on his arm. We all knew someone with one of these little troll toys back in the 80s and 90s and while they are long gone now, this guy had immortalized the famous toy by getting a tattoo of it.

The Mixture Of Hair And Tattoo

We can’t say that this was a wise decision. Why would anyone want to wake up in the morning and see one of those creepy troll dolls looking up at them? The toys were freaky enough when they’d stare at you from shelves. Why get a tattoo of one?

Dream Bigger

Inspirational messages come in many different forms. Songs, movies, stories, even a good commercial can inspire someone to be better. This guy figured that his chest would also be a great place to post an inspiring message.

Dream Bigger

Unfortunately, this off-center tattoo includes the wrong “too,” showing that the dream of a good tattoo was too big for this young man. Hopefully, he saves up his money and gets it covered up by something better or just gets it completely removed.

Off To A Bad Start

This tattoo is horrendous, but the real star here is the baby. This baby is all of a few minutes old and already has much more sense than his mom does. Even he can look at her face and tell that her tattoo was a bad idea. Poor kid. Look at his face.

Off To A Bad Start

It’s already setting in that he’s going to have more than his fair share of embarrassment when he’s a child, teen and even an adult. Best of luck, little guy. With any luck, the first ten years of his life will roll by quick and then he can go to college across the country.

Too Dumb To Spell

You don’t even have to see this guy’s eyes to know that he thinks he’s some sort of tough guy. This guy is too young to die, too fast to live, and too dumb to get a better tattoo. Honestly, what is this problem that people have with whether to use “to” or “too”? It’s not that hard!

Too Dumb To Spell

Sure, it may not matter on Facebook or in text messages, but if you’re going to get ink done, you may not want it to look dumb for the next 60 years. Or less, if you’re “too fast to live.” For his sake, he might be lucky if that were actually true.

Zombie Marilyn

If you haven’t gotten the drift by now, portrait tattoos are almost always a really terrible idea. There’s just something creepy about the human face as represented in tattoo format, and only the best artists can do a decent job of it.

Zombie Marilyn

Exhibit A: this terrible tattoo of Marilyn Monroe. How do you take one of the most beautiful women of the 20th century and turn her into this science experiment that someone left in the oven for too long? She looks like Marilyn from beyond the grave.

We Can Tell

We have to take at least a sign of relief just for the simple fact that he spelled “too” right. Anyway, the phrase “too cool for school” is usually not meant literally, but don’t tell this guy that. He was so busy skipping school that he doesn’t even know how to spell the word.

We Can Tell

And by that poorly drawn bus, you can tell that both he and his tattoo artist skipped art class as well as spelling class. He must have dropped out of school before he finished the second grade. That would totally explain his lame tattoo.

Something That Will Scare The Children

God, have mercy on her soul because this tattoo artist didn’t. You can bet he isn’t going to be adding that mess to his portfolio. In all seriousness, this tattoo almost looks like something you’d see in a cold case file and less like something you’d see on someone’s body.

Something That Will Scare The Children

We have no idea who this lady is, but she is likely going to be horrified when she sees the sloppy job this guy did on getting her face tattooed on his body. Usually, something like this would be seen as an honor, but this is actually a bit disturbing.

Tattoos Are A Family Tradition

For those not in the know, “Family Tradition” is a Hank Williams, Jr. song that normalizes and celebrates a family history of serious substance abuse. This guy said, “That’s great! How can I make that more trashy, though?”

Tattoos Are A Family Tradition

And this tattoo was the result. It’s not a good look, but who are we to judge? It seems like ugly facial tattoos are all the rage now. There’s a 100% chance that this guy is a Soundcloud rapper, at any rate. If that’s the tradition, we’d love to see a family photo.

The Tattoo Artist? Elvis

Here you have a perfectly good looking tattoo of Jimi Hendrix and a perfectly good lettering job that says “Bob Marley.” The problem? Jimi Hendrix and Bob Marley aren’t the same people. While they both are musical legends, they aren’t the same genre.

The Tattoo Artist? Elvis

The two don’t even really look alike when you think about it. How on Earth did the artist not notice this? Seems like a pretty big mistake that could have been caught a lot earlier in the process. Hopefully, this is just a huge ironic joke tattoo.

Eat, Drink, And Be Merry

Apparently, spelling is hard, y’all. Or at least, it is for some people, especially the ones that are getting really crumby tattoos. This guy couldn’t be bothered to spell-check his tattoo idea, and his artist apparently wasn’t any smarter at the end of the day.

Eat, Drink, And Be Merry

One can’t miss it! He’s using “merry” as in “Christmas” instead of “marry” as in “make a huge mistake you’ll both regret in three years.” Let’s hope that when he revealed this abomination, Nina said no. No one was feeling “merry” after this.

You Can Taste The Cheese

Let’s give the tattoo artist some props here. That’s a well-crafted bag of Cheetos. You can almost wipe the Cheetos dust off of this person’s leg. If someone touched the tattoo, they might seriously have the smell of Cheetos on their hand afterward.

You Can Taste The Cheese

Furthermore, I’m going to give the person a pass on “snax,” as it’s pretty clearly done on purpose. But dude…how much do you have to love Cheetos to get them tattooed on your body forever? We wonder if Cheetos will still be around within the next fifty years.

Never Stop Never Stopping

“Don’t give up” is decent advice. Well, some of the time. Sometimes, giving up is actually pretty smart. If you’re a tone-deaf karaoke singer who won’t stop trying out for American Idol or a 48-year-old man who wants to become a cage fighter, giving up may be a good choice.

Never Stop Never Stopping

But “never don’t give up”? Doesn’t that basically mean “do give up”? If something hard, just throw down everything and walk away. “Never don’t give up” when it comes to making all those amazing dreams come true.

We Should Inform Vader Of This

We’re certain that if Darth Vader was real, he’d be pretty upset over this guy’s crumby tattoo. It literally looks like this guy put ink on a needle and tried giving himself the tattoo. It also looks like he has the drawing skills of a seven-year-old.

We Should Inform Vader Of This

One of the worst parts about it is those shrimpy little legs. If Vader was real, we’d have every reason to believe that the Death Star was parked outside of earth and powering up its laser beam. Truly we have all disgraced the dark lord.

Helpful Instructions

You’ve got to hand it to this guy. He’s already thinking about when he’s 90 years old, in a retirement home, and in the care of nurses who may need detailed instructions on how to wash his clothes. You just know that they’d likely ruin his clothes.

Helpful Instructions

No, you can’t iron out those wrinkles, ma’am. But seriously, why would you want a tattoo of the little tag that you rip out of all your shirts because it’s annoying as it is? Shame if he actually needed those instructions for himself. That’s the worst place to put it.

Change Of Heart

As Expose sang in the 1980s, “Seasons change, people change.” This tattoo is a pretty good illustration of that principle. Looks like the person in this guy’s tattoo changed and so did his feelings about her.  Expose wasn’t wrong in that song.

Change Of Heart

If you ever wondered what people do when they get broken up with after getting a poorly advised tattoo of their lover, the answer is “turn your ex-girlfriend into a frightening demon woman,” of course. We just can’t help but wonder what she did.

Death Before Bad Tattoos

This particular hot mess is so bad that it’s hard to know where exactly to start. There’s the awful print, which instead of using an actual font appears to simply be “the block lettering that an edgy 6th grader draws on his notebook.”

Death Before Bad Tattoos

Look at the first letters of “death” and “before,” for God’s sake. And “dishouner”? What an abomination. I would love to see who the guy behind this tattoo is. It looks like he could have honestly given himself that tattoo with his left hand.

 

Good, But Pretty Bad

To some extent, this tattoo is actually pretty good. Eminem’s face, the beanie, the arms and legs all look pretty wonderful. That said, it still horrific all at the same time. This tattoo looks like something you’d see in an alternate dimension where everything is upside down.

Good, But Pretty Bad

The most horrible thing about this dad is that Eminem seems to look right into your soul as he looks at you. We wonder if this tattoo was from 1999 when everyone was going Eminem crazy. One could seriously imagine getting a tattoo like that today.

 

 

Not An Intelligent Life Form

After looking through so many horrific tattoos, it’d be pretty disappointing if we were the smartest being in the universe. This tattoo has 1990s fluff written all over it. What’s the only thing dorkier than getting a Marvin the Martian tattoo in the 21st century?

Not An Intelligent Life Form

Getting one that actually proclaims that you’re a martian yourself. What’s the only thing worse than that? Spelling “martian” as “marshian.” Who knows? Maybe that’s how the word is spelled on Mars, where this guy is from.